When Your Theology Doesn’t Match Your Reality

Otherwise entitled: Happy Anniversary Hubs!

This weekend Russ and I will have been married for six years. Six crazy intense years of pressing into Jesus. Which means I have read a whole lot of scripture about being married.

What scripture tells me is primarily how to be married. It tells me how to behave in a myriad of situations. Scripture also reminds me often of the goodness of marriage. How it is good to be married. It mentions a few times finding an appropriate mate and the extent of it is finding someone that follows Jesus.

That’s it.

No soulmates mentioned. No “finding the one.” No long list of “wait for the guy who…”

Just Jesus.

Which leads me to believe in my heart of hearts that if two believers are truly following Jesus, pretty much any two could successfully make a marriage work to the Glory of God.

That’s my theology.

And perhaps it is out of necessity. Because I’m not really that easy to live with. I’m moody and emotional. I’m hyperactive and I have so much fire in me I could burn down a city block. I hate cleaning house and cooking and, unfortunately, bathing isn’t just real high on my priority list.

I’m cannot be the most fun to be married to.

And Russ? Well, he is a perfectionist. Disciplined and steady to a fault. He is a thinker and reasoner. And not a communicator of the feelings.

I’m sure you can imagine.

And sometimes for days. weeks. months. years? We are just looking toward heaven and walking in the same direction. Because the Bible says thats what marriage is. We cling to the rules. Hold each others hand and we do the work of marriage. We work it out.

But sometimes. Sometimes day. weeks. months. years.

We challenge each other. We push each other. We laugh and dream together. He steadies my run and I put the fire under his. He cleans up my messes and force his feelings to get messy. And it’s beautiful.

It’s so beautiful that it messes up my theology.

My belief that there isn’t some “one right person.”

Because times like these, I look across our (very long) dinning room table and I see God’s sovereignty.

I see the one whom my soul loves.

And somehow, I know it all works.

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4 thoughts on “When Your Theology Doesn’t Match Your Reality

  1. My husband hates that fact that I don’t think there is just one person out there for each person (he’s a bit of a romantic). I explained, if we had never met, we would have married other people and been perfectly happy. But, that doesn’t mean I want that. He is perfect for me and vice versa. God did make sure we were brought together and that’s awesome and I love it!

    (visiting from the We Are That Family WFMW link-up)

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    1. It’s definately not the most romantic theology ever, but I agree that it makes me that much more grateful for ending up with my husband!

      Like

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