Conviction, Judgement, Grace, Oh My!

Let me start this by saying this post is NOT about clear doctrinal truths. This is a post about personal God given convictions and being in different places in our walks with Jesus.

I am struggling to fit in my own skin lately. I am learning to deal with God given heartfelt convictions while keeping my finger off the hair trigger of defensiveness. Or worse, keeping others off of their defensiveness triggers.

God is cleaning us out right now. Majorly. He is calling us to live a radically counter-culture life in our family. That’s hard enough to do just inside this home. But throw the fact that life in general bumps us up against people, and well things get really hard. I’m learning my role as mommy, aka protector and defender of the innocent lives I’ve been given charge of, is going to require and tougher exoskeleton than I’ve previously had.

Why? For one, I want to get defensive. I want explain every choice and I want to argue with people that accuse me of being overprotective or unreasonable. I bow up when people tell me I’ll relax as time goes on. I don’t want to relax the truths God has given us for our lives. Some might call that backsliding. I want to fight and voice my frustrations. I don’t thought…

Because I’ve realized secondly that it just makes people defensive. I’ve learned mostly to keep my convictions and our family choices to ourselves. Of course that’s not always possible. The problem is sometimes I have to say “no.” “No, we can’t go there,” “No, Lily can’t come over,””No we don’t want that environment for our family.” I side step as much as possible because i don’t want to isolate people; because what I’ve seen is sharing our convictions makes people think we are judging them.

And oh we are sooooooo not. We get it. It’s really hard to just walk your walk. Much less try to walk someone else’s as well. I understand that we all have different convictions, different callings, and different areas the Lord has us working on…that’s what is so beautiful about the body of Christ!!!

I feel called to protect the purity of heart, mind, body, and soul of my family. So, yeah, I’m overprotective and my kids will be sheltered. I feel called to advocate for orphans, widows, and adoptions. So, yeah, I’m going to tell you about it. Those are mine. You don’t have to care. I’m not judging. You just have to care about your God given heart.

I read the other day about a woman who felt convicted about sleeveless shirts and high heels. I can tell you unequivocally that while I do feel called to dress modestly and stop obsessing over my clothes (full disclosure: I’m failing) I don’t in any way feel those specific callings. I don’t doubt she does. I just don’t, and I don’t feel judged because of the choices she has been called to make. Comprendè?

I’m really just working this all out as I’m writing it. It’s part of the reason I write. I’m all up for Godly counsel. So tell me how do you deal when what your called to do makes others uncomfortable?


6 thoughts on “Conviction, Judgement, Grace, Oh My!

  1. This isn’t exactly answering your question, but I think you are doing a wonderful job being a mom and an advocate without making me feel uncomfortable. We all need to be more supportive of the positive choices we make for our families. No two people are exactly alike and no exact solution is going to be the right fit for everyone. Many parts, one body… if we make our choices with love then that is the best we can do.


  2. Oh my! I could go on for days about this one! We have been given the evil eye more han once and been uninvited to many things because of the way we choose to raise our daughters! For example: we do NOT let Lily Bea sleep over at friends houses which is an invitation she recieves 3 out of 4 Frudays, you cannot believe the uproar this causes! Uhm, it seems illogical to send my little girl to sleep in another home just because our children share pencils and giggle at school! I simply say, well we dont really do sleepovers just yet, then they call me a snob under their breath and move on. Really, I want to say..uhm, I’m terribly sorry, but your husband looks like a serial killer, no can do. LOL…I kid. It is our job to protect our kids from all kinds of girls are sheltered and I love it!


  3. This began for us the minute we got pregnant (we birthed at home, don’t vaccinate, don’t circumcise, etc…) and has continued with choices about nutrition and education (we are homeschooling). I try my best to explain why we’ve chosen what we’ve chosen and then rest in the knowledge that pleasing God is much more important than making other feel comfortable. I try to encourage the other person in their choices and just move the conversation back to them. In my life right now, my excitement about our homeschooling adventure is often perceived as judgement on my friends that don’t…all very tricky. It has gotten easier in general for me the longer I mother because everyone expects me to do the counter culture thing. If I told my family (who were not especially pleased about homebirth initially) that I was going to give birth to our third child in the ocean with dolphins, I’m pretty certain they would say “Ok, what beach?” Hope my rambling helps!


    1. It does Whitney! Thanks for the encouragement. I completely understand that the longer we live counter culture the more used to it people get. I think they are getting used to it now.

      Also, minus the sand I would like I have my baby on beach!


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