A Baby Story

As life seems to be speeding up and things are getting blurry I want to write this story down for my own memories. If your not a Lifetime/TLC kind of person feel free to walk away, but you still might want to scan through because parts of this are really funny.

Funny? You may ask, because baby stories often don’t lend themselves to amusing reflections. However this one does because y’all? We almost missed it.

Two educated, well-read, informed adults almost missed the whole labor and delivery thing. In our defense:
-We had done our best to read books ask others to share their L&D experiences and made sure we knew some key signs. BUT we hadn’t actually experienced bringing a child into this world.
– My labor was to say the least unconventional.
– In Russ’s defense he was waiting for the dramatic excited hysteria that he had come to expect from his wife…and it never came.

10.9.2010

4:00AM: Pass my plug, get out What to Expect only to find that it means labor could start any time in the next 24 hours to a week. Disappointed.
4:30AM: Decide to wake up Russ and tell him anyways. This is the first time in our marriage I have ever woken my husband up, mostly because he is always up before me but also because if you wake him up before he is ready he is a little bit of a bear!
5:00 Russ gets woken up enough (read: ungrouchy) to talk to me about it. We decide not to get to excited and pray about wether he should head south for work that day like he planned or stuck around.
5:30 Start laundry to get my mind busy. Also make biscuits because I’m starving.
5:45 Eat FOUR biscuits with butter and syrup.
6:00 Tummy ache ensues. Y’all I’ve always had a bad tummy combine that with pregnancy and what can only be classified as down home junk food and this was not a surprising development. (Remember hindsight is 20/20) Spend the next hour whining and in the bathroom.
7:00 Russ begins to suspect that it might not be just a tummy ache. So I text our parents something to the effect of “minor labor pains, but nothing exciting yet!”
8:00 At this point I’ve showered and folded laundry. We are trying to time contractions, but I don’t really feel them stopping and starting because of my tummy ache. I’m insisting on sitting on the floor because it’s the only place I’m comfortable. Russ reaches over to try to rub my back and I snapped at him. (I think that’s when his suspicions began to get high) this is also where I said something to the effect of, “If labor hurts worse than this tummy ache I will not be able to do it.”
8:15 I go sit outside to pout because it is SO HOT in the house and my cheap husband won’t turn on the air (it was less than fifty degrees outside and nearing mid-October and I wanted the house cooled down. Remember 20/20) while Russ loaded up the dog to take to his parents in case we ended up going to the hospital that day. (cue foreshadowing music)
8:30 Tried to get in the car, jumped out because I couldn’t sit down. Russ had a REVELATION He took the dog back in the house, called his parents to come get her, moved the already-in-place car seat to the back and loaded me and my body pillow up in the back seat. All this time I’m saying things like, “well if they send us home we can just stay in Amarillo and watch a movie or something” because I felt THAT SURE that I wasn’t in any serious labor.
9:00 Leave for the hospital send all the grandparents a text letting them know.
9:25 (This is where it starts getting really fun) somewhere around Bushland I sit up and tell Russ, “I’m really not hurting anymore. I think it was false labor! I mean we can go in to town but they are probably just going to send us home.” I then spot the LOVES sign and the exit right ahead, “OH MY GOODNESS PLEASE STOP I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM SO BAD!!!”
This is where our marriage took a blow (temporarily) because Russ’s response? “No. You’ll just have to hold it until we get to the hospital”
9:40 Arrive at hospital and make Russ walk behind me to the elevators because I’ve been leaking (not gushing) for hours and my shorts are wet. He let’s me stop at the bathroom upstairs to sit for a sec and we proceed to the counter to check in.
9:45 They ask us to sit down. I can’t. I have to go to the bathroom again.
9:50 Russ and a nurse walk down to help me find an empty room (Time gets blurry from here). I barely get sat down to relieve my aching tummy when the nurse says sharply,
“Get up, get up Now.”

“I can’t” I respond, ” I really have to go.”

“I think your father along then in prepared for. You HAVE TO GET UP.”

As I start to panic a little all I can say is,” I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”

So she leaves and comes back with a hospital gown strips me down right there in the bathroom without even introducing herself! She takes me by both hands, pulls be up and drags me to the bed to, ya know, inspect me.

She looks at Russ standing at the head of the bed and says/yells , “Push the red button!”

I’ll never forget the next words out of her mouth. The words that caused the whirlwind…
“Fully dialated. Fully effaced. Fully ruptured.

The next thing I know the room is filled with nurses. One starts an IV while another straps on a monitor. Yet another is smiling and telling me it’s going to be okay they have a stand in doctor but my doctor will be there any minute.

And then that fateful word, “Push”
I remember telling them in calm earnestness that she wasn’t going o fit. There where
More reassuring words and I could hear Russ praying over me.

The next thing I know, it’s over.

10:19: Lily Kate was born!

(My doctor did make it just in time)

Ten minutes later Russ’s parents got there shortly followed by mine. From then on out it was just all celebrating and smiles!

As we prepare for number two I can only hope we will be a little less oblivious!

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