Adoption Feels

It’s time for another non update, update on our adoption. Meaning that a few minor things have happened but nothing has happened, if you know what I mean. It always feels like we are both thisclose to being over there with them and yet I can’t even quite imagine it because it is so far away. 

What happened is this: We received our completed investigation that gives us the official paperwork on the boys’ background. There is still a few paperwork loose ends to tie up before we can even apply for a court date, but I want to talk to you about that investigation today. I mean, I’m not going to tell you what is in it because that’s not really my story to tell, but I do need to tell you about all the gamut of emotions that I have had to process since seeing it, and the result of all that processing. 

For those of you who have never adopted or been involved in the adoption process one of the first thing that is made very clear to you is that adoption starts from a place of loss. Hurt. Pain. Abandonment. All words that I don’t want associated with any children in the world, much less my children. So you walk into the situation knowing that it is a situation that needs to be redeemed. Not by adoptive parents of course because parents aren’t in the business of redemption. But we as parents in general, and specifically parents that choose to adopt, are in to guiding, healing hurts, and loving. We are into growing. 

My point is you know. I mean you know on paper that it means loss. Then you get a referral and you look at the face or faces of your children and you start wondering about the pain that brought them to you. You wonder where the hurt began and what it will take to heal it. And then one day you get the story. You hold the history in your hands. If you’re me, you sit in your car and cry salty tears for a woman that you never met and never will meet. You cry for the hurt and the pain and the loss. You cry for that mama and that daddy and you cry for the history that your babies will have to carry. You wonder why any of it ever had to happen, why no one stopped this. 

It fell all over me. The yucky feelings overwhelmed me and I had a painful dawn of realization that I absolutely can’t change this. I can’t make this better, and I can’t make this history go away for our boys. I felt down to my bones how amazingly hard this will be for them, has already been for them, if it was overwhelming me this way. The reality of my inadequacy to guide, to heal, or even to love them the way they will always need literally brought me to my knees. 

Redemption. Adoption requires redemption. A saving grace that is out of my power. 

Jesus. Jesus redeems. Jesus gave us the saving grace that can heal hurts that could kill a person. He has the power to save. Praise God for that.

As believers in Jesus we are all called to care for orphans. Adoption is one way to do that. Helping others is another way. Supporting holistic orphan care is another. But somehow after reading that investigation I need you to know that the absolute best way to care for orphans is to care for families so that orphans are not made. That day I got up from my knees I read a blog post from Kristen at We Are That Family inviting readers to become ambassadors for Mercy House Kenya, her big Yes to God, and I saw hope. Hope that there would be a few less orphans in the world because someone bothered to take women in, to show them how to care for babies, to teach them life skills and to share with them the Gospel. To point them to saving Grace, to heal the loss, and the hurt, and the pain. 

Praise God.

I invite you to check it out. I invite you to go shop in the Mercy House shop. I invite you to donate. To pray for them. I invite you to make a difference in the life of a mother, a child, and generations to come. 

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One thought on “Adoption Feels

  1. Thank you for sharing this. And I’m so sorry for the loss(es) and hurt and the pain that your boys and their first family have had to and will have to endure. We’re waiting on a court date to meet three boys of our own (we hope!), and I know exactly what you mean, about that sickening, terrible feeling that the reality – if only on paper or in words – of their loss brings. Praise God that in Him, the most heart-breaking beginning is not the end of the story, and that nothing is beyond His redemption. Praying for your family and your boys tonight, and for the many families in need of support. Orphan care starts with families first.

    Like this

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