Newborn Daze

Day three at home with a newborn.

This should be a “Keeping it Real” post in which I fold back the curtain to reveal the brutality of nursing aches, all night nursing, jealous toddler-babies, and yucky post-partum bellies. And you should surely know that we are experiencing ALL of that right now.

But I can’t write that post. Just can’t do it. Because I LOVE HAVING A NEWBORN. I love having two sweet girls to care for. I love watching the Bug be stretched into new maturity, I love getting to spend special moments playing with her, I love praying over my sweet Ava at that 4:00 AM nursing session and all the aches that remind me I have a baby in my arms now.

Maybe is the oxytocin talking. In all fairness though, I felt this way when the Bug was born too. I’m not crazy enough to think this is normal. There are women who are much better and more dedicated moms than me that struggle with this phase. By the grace of God I just happen to bask in these early days.

Also BY THE GRACE OF GOD I have an easy time of it. I have now had two healthy, full term, non-traumatic births. Nursing has come naturally for both of them and milk has been abundant. I have husband who is there to help out every step of the way and a family, church, and community that lavishes love on us.

Please don’t hate me for loving this so much (and I’ll try not to be bitter that you enjoyed your pregnancy )

Hallelujuh!

Ava Mae
2/21/12
7lbs 8oz
18 3/4 in

” 3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.”
Psalm 127 3-5

AND ALL THE PEOPLE SAID…

I Prefer “Hypervigilant”

I know I’m a little baby-centric around here lately, but really? I get a pass for it because it is what is going in in my life right now.

So here is the deal, I’m 39 week and 2 days which is already a week longer than I made it last time.

Also?

I’m completely paranoid hyper-vigilant. Which I also think I should get a pass for since my last child was almost born in a LOVES truck stop. (Thanks for holding your ground hubs!)

I have never been so utterly aware of my body in my life and much of my time has been spent google-analyzing every sensation. However, there has been nothing to analyze.

I mean nothing. Not even a Braxton Hicks.

However that is not stopping me from being crazy aware because when I go into labor this time I’m going to know it by-golly!

39 Weeks!

And still anxiously waiting Ava’s arrival!

The great thing is I’ve walked so much in the last week I’m going I be I. Great shape by the time she actually comes.

Also I took this picture as proof that I do occasionally change out of my stretchy pants/Russ’s t-shirt uniform!

Off for a walk!

The Good News and the Bad News

The good news is I have completely replaced the lack of faith in my heart, also know as my fear of labor and delivery. The bad news? I have replaced it with a complete lack in my ability for long suffering.

Translation: I am no longer afraid of actually having a baby because I am so ready to HAVE THIS BABY.

More bad news? Russ is preaching on John 15 this week which means our breakfast discussions have revolved around abiding in Jesus and seeing the fruit of the Spirit. Which I so obviously don’t have.

Really, does it just sometimes scare anyone else out of their wits how totally personal and up-in-my-business God is?!??

Don’t mistake me, it hurts so good to know He cares enough to call me out.

Anyways, if your wondering where I’m at this week take a stroll around Vega. God created gravity for a reason and I will be using it to my full advantage this week.

“Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear and Grace my fears relieved”

Babymoon

Russ and I ended up with an impromptu Babymoon last night due to a crazy snowstorm that hit the Panhandle. We shacked up in Amarillo just in case Ava decided to make an appearance during the blizzard-like conditions.

Really it was perfect timing because we had just spent out weekend at an awesome marriage conference. (We believe in preventative “medicine”) and in case you missed it, IT’S VALENTINES DAY!

Anyways they shared this video with us and so here is a little marriage insight.

 

Any Guesses?

So some mommy’s I blog stalk are about to have babies and they played fun guessing games. So let’s just give it a try for fun.

I am 38 weeks and one day. I had Lily at 38 weeks and three days. I never dilated past a one and I never dropped before I had her. ( just adding that sine those of you who have seen me lately know that, as usual, I’m carrying my baby somewhere between my first and third rib.)

Lily was 11 days before due date and weighed 7lbs 8oz.

So go ahead give me your best guess…

Day
Time
Weight
Length

Sweet Memories

Music is a powerful thing. It really really is.

Most days I pop in the Pandora and our house is filled with all varieties of music from Tchaikovsky to Casting Crowns to Seeds. My favor tends to lean towards the traditional country hymn station though.

Evidently I’m the only person under the age of 50 that really loved growing up in a small Southern Baptist Church and my taste in worship music reflects that.

My mama, Aunt Connie and Uncle Bobby will still randomly break out into hymns in perfect three part harmony when they are together. I cannot count the hours I spent at my Papa’s house listening to Blue Grass Gospel music.

The other day the fiddles started humming and a peppy version of Blessed Assurance floated through my kitchen the Bug started dancing in her chair. This is a very normal occurrence around here and she loves Blue Grass Gospel too.

I, however, was overcome. In that moment I could feel my Nanny and Papa’s sweet smiles on me and my child. I’m know they are busy gazing into the face of Jesus in Heaven, but I also know watching their great grandchild sway to some Jesus glorifying fiddle music would have warmed their hearts.

I scooped my Bug out of her chair and we danced. We stomped our feet, clapped our hands, and spun in crazy circles all over the kitchen.

We danced because I want her I have the same happy memories that I have. We danced because I believe worship can come in a lot of different ways, but it must come from our heart. We danced because it was plan ole fun.

I’m so blessed to pass down a sweet legacy to my babies and I hope Jesus has fiddles in Heaven!

Conviction, Judgement, Grace, Oh My!

Let me start this by saying this post is NOT about clear doctrinal truths. This is a post about personal God given convictions and being in different places in our walks with Jesus.

I am struggling to fit in my own skin lately. I am learning to deal with God given heartfelt convictions while keeping my finger off the hair trigger of defensiveness. Or worse, keeping others off of their defensiveness triggers.

God is cleaning us out right now. Majorly. He is calling us to live a radically counter-culture life in our family. That’s hard enough to do just inside this home. But throw the fact that life in general bumps us up against people, and well things get really hard. I’m learning my role as mommy, aka protector and defender of the innocent lives I’ve been given charge of, is going to require and tougher exoskeleton than I’ve previously had.

Why? For one, I want to get defensive. I want explain every choice and I want to argue with people that accuse me of being overprotective or unreasonable. I bow up when people tell me I’ll relax as time goes on. I don’t want to relax the truths God has given us for our lives. Some might call that backsliding. I want to fight and voice my frustrations. I don’t thought…

Because I’ve realized secondly that it just makes people defensive. I’ve learned mostly to keep my convictions and our family choices to ourselves. Of course that’s not always possible. The problem is sometimes I have to say “no.” “No, we can’t go there,” “No, Lily can’t come over,”"No we don’t want that environment for our family.” I side step as much as possible because i don’t want to isolate people; because what I’ve seen is sharing our convictions makes people think we are judging them.

And oh we are sooooooo not. We get it. It’s really hard to just walk your walk. Much less try to walk someone else’s as well. I understand that we all have different convictions, different callings, and different areas the Lord has us working on…that’s what is so beautiful about the body of Christ!!!

I feel called to protect the purity of heart, mind, body, and soul of my family. So, yeah, I’m overprotective and my kids will be sheltered. I feel called to advocate for orphans, widows, and adoptions. So, yeah, I’m going to tell you about it. Those are mine. You don’t have to care. I’m not judging. You just have to care about your God given heart.

I read the other day about a woman who felt convicted about sleeveless shirts and high heels. I can tell you unequivocally that while I do feel called to dress modestly and stop obsessing over my clothes (full disclosure: I’m failing) I don’t in any way feel those specific callings. I don’t doubt she does. I just don’t, and I don’t feel judged because of the choices she has been called to make. Comprendè?

I’m really just working this all out as I’m writing it. It’s part of the reason I write. I’m all up for Godly counsel. So tell me how do you deal when what your called to do makes others uncomfortable?

No-Poo Week 2

I want to start off by saying at the end of this post there are pictures of me that I took in the bathroom mirror. I feel like I need to apologize and repent for judging any of you who may have done this (which if you did it I judged you).

So there is that.

On to the no-poo (which is such an awkward nickname, but then I guess not shampooing your hair is kinda awkward too).

I actually really love it! It’s easy and cheap and y’all, the other day I curled my hair and it stayed curled all day! I meant to take a picture as proof but let’s face it I’m notorious for never taking pictures.

Point being I may have reached the hair related goal I discussed here. It may have been purely coincidental, but I think not.

A few thing I noticed:
1. My hair definitely had an oily transition period, I just washed every other day during that first week. Normally I would only wash every three days.

2. I needed Much less Apple Cider vinegar than I thought (that may have caused some of the oil). My hair is long and thick and tangles easily so I thought I would need lots. Less is definitely more and still a great detangler.

3. If you have lots of hair like me it’s probably best to make sure you brush your hair out before you get in the shower. It makes the massaging Baking Soda into the hair part much easier!

Here is how my hair looks now:

And yes that is my 37 week belly hanging in the sink. Come on Miss Ava, time to meet the world!!!