That Time I Loved Goldfish

Right now we have a plate of brownies sitting on our counter.

After nap, we will no longer have a plate of brownies sitting on our counter.

Because, you know, brownies.

And I’m hungry.

In fact, I can’t ever remember not being hungry. I had a friend in college that was always like, “Did I eat lunch? I can’t remember.” (I’m talking to you, Ashley)

And that is CRAZY. That has happened to me exactly one time in my ENTIRE LIFE and it was about three weeks ago. There was a good reason too. We were headed to my dad’s house, and  #1 I always get a little overexcited to go to my dad’s and #2 trying to get seven people away for the weekend is overwhelming even for a compulsive packer and organizer like me.

So we were in the car on the way and we stopped at (I kid you not) El Tipi. (The cultural confusion of that place is either brilliant or disturbing.) (Also, I was born in the town that produced that. Also either brilliant or scary.)

Point. I know there was one.

Oh yeah, the kids were hungry. So I grabbed 60 cent bags of goldfish and passed them out. When I opened Jane’s bag a few fell out and I popped them in my mouth.

“Oh my gosh. These are the best goldfish ever.”

“Seriously. These are amazing.”

“Do you think they make them differently in Oklahoma?”

“I’m just gonna take a few more of Jane’s.” (Yeah, I took a snack from my kid. Pass the MOTY trophy right here.

At this point Russ is looking at my like I’ve lost my mind because I’m literally raving about Goldfish.

At which point it dawns on me. I forgot to eat lunch.

So, anyways, have yall heard of these wonderful snacks called Goldfish?

If you just skip a few meals and then go buy some, they will be revolutionary to your taste buds.

*SMH*

Radical Undoing

Last spring I visited my sister’s Sunday School class at church. While I always love me some Sunday school, this particular class was revolutionary.

We talked about the Day of Pentecost.

You know the one I’m talking about right? The one where the uneducated, provincial men who had been following Jesus around suddenly started speaking the Wonderful Works of God in languages they didn’t know and people came to Christ by the thousands. I mean, that’s pretty cool, right?

What struck me most though, was when the guest teacher asked what this was a reversal of?

It hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment and I wondered why I hadn’t seen it before.

The day of Pentecost was a radical undoing of the Tower of Babel.

When man tried to glorify himself, God tore us apart with our words and our language so that it would be difficult to unify against His purposes again.

But when Pentecost came and God poured out His Holy Spirit all over us, we, the believers of Jesus Christ, were allowed to be unified for His glory in a way that is even still almost unimaginable.

Now let me blow your mind…That same Holy Spirit is already residing in the people who love Jesus today.

Do you see what that means?

We can do this together. We should do this together. We are equipped to do this together.

Why, Oh, Why dear friends do we keep trying to speak a different language?!? Why are we trying to put up walls an barriers that Jesus never intended for us to have. In fact, that He commanded us not to have over and over again.

No, we don’t have to throw out sound doctrine and theology, and we need to take a deep drink of scripture to make sure what we believe lines up. We don’t have to pretend to agree about everything. However we do need to stand up to the admission that not actively seeking one-ness as the Body of Christ is incomplete in it’s doctrine and it is an omission devastating to God’s glory.

We have to hold tight to Jesus, the Word of God, and to each other. We each provide something rich and beautiful to this Body and we are incomplete without actively working together.

Let’s have that friends. Let’s have a radical undoing.

A Radical Undoing!

An undoing of our walls. Our hangups. Our labels. Our language.

Join us at IF:Amarillo as we Gather, Equip, and Unleash the women of Amarillo to fully live out God’s purpose for our lives. We want you there.

We need you there. You are a part of us and we are a part of you. Come join hands with us?

They Call Me Mama

“MooooOOOOoooooommmmm, I’m coming. I had a really big poop.”

Yeah. This job is glamorous.

This mom thing is not for the faint of heart. This adoptive mom thing…well, it throws more hurdles than I ever could have imagined jumping in my race.

Because of all the things people tell you about adoption, no one ever mentions the awkward.

They don’t tell you about how it will feel for someone to hand an almost-five-year-old and  three year old over to you and instruct those kids to call you mama.

I mean you just met them. There aren’t any tiny feet or sweet little cries. They are covered in dirt and they look terrified. Because why wouldn’t they be…

The person they know best in the world, just told them to call you mama. You. The stranger. The untested one.

But they do. And you do too.

You take their hand and you walk the road. You try to figure out what is appropriate and what is just scary. You navigate murky waters of being the new authority in their life with no real authority as far as they are concerned. And you go from awkwardly bumping into corners to slamming against walls. 

It goes from awkward to hard. From hard to devastating.

“I wanna go back mama!”

And over and over again you turn your eyes to heaven, and just keep running.

And they keep calling you mama. Because someone told them to.

Because you keep telling them that is what you are.

I’m your mom. 

And for awhile there, nobody is really buying it. Not them. Not you.

But you keep running. You get further along and the dust settles. The air starts to clear.

“Night, night mama. I love you.”

And you both believe it. Because somewhere along the way. Something changes.

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit” Romans 3:5

Lights and Gas

I’m gonna write a parenting book and call it Managing Expectations. How to excite and thrill your kids with very little effort.

Because the other night we decided to surprise our kids with a drive around town to look a Christmas lights. (An already free, low key way to keep littles entertained.) So we put them in feety jimmies and loaded them up in the car.

They were so excited as we got ready to pull out of the driveway, this conversation happened:

Alex: Where are we going?!?!?

Me: It’s a surprise!

Lily: To get gas!!!!!

Aaaaaaaannnnnnnndddd scene.

CLEARLY we are bundles of overstimulating fun if my kids think that we are taking them to the gas station at night as a surprise.

But managing expectations? Totally winning at that.

Stitch Fix #4: You Decide

Loved this one. Loved it. But that stinky budget strikes again. So this time you decide.

IMG_5160.JPG

Owl dress. The Owls pretty much speak for themselves amiright?

IMG_5168.JPG

I loved the fit of the black leggings but they don’t really have a place in my life. Not a huge fan of the shirt, not sure if it was just too baggy or if it’s cause I felt like an Aggie in it. (Sorry Aggie friends, you know I just can’t do it!)

IMG_5167.JPG

Raindrop dress is adorable and versatile and just a touch quirky. I loved it!

IMG_5175.JPG

IMG_5176.JPG

The yellow sweater gets two pics because the front AND back are adorable! I was doing something weird with my hips, but this sweater was actually pretty flattering in real life.

So friends what’s the vote?

Also, if you decide you’ve had quite enough of the mall right now and want someone to just pick out your clothes and give you staying ideas then you should use this link to sign up and help a sister out!

Advent Week Two

Y’all. This first week of Advent was rough.

All the things I thought I had set aside, all the burdens I thought I had surrendered? Almost crushed me again this week.

Peace.

I just need some peace.

But it’s Monday now and it is time to prepare for a week of preparation. A week of peace.

Because He prepared a way. 

Joseph took his pregnant wife and traveled a long distance only to find there was no room in the inn. No room.

Feels a little hopeless doesn’t it? Feels like a mess? Feels peace-less?

But there was room in a stable. There was a manger to lay in.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7

We see no room and we despair.

But somebody made some room for hope. 

And from that humble corner of the stable? A Light so bright it lights the world.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

From the dark corners where someone surrendered just a little bit of room? We got  star so bright that it lit up the entire countryside.

“I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.” Revelation 22:16

I hope they were shocked and awed. I hope the inn keeper, the other people in that stable, the people out on the streets were blinded by the beauty of the humble savior that they just scooted over a tiny bit for.

Because when I really think about it, I remember that it isn’t about me. It isn’t about my perfect sacrifice. My perfect Advent.

It is about His light. His hope.

But maybe if I’ll just make a tiny bit of room, if I’ll just surrender one dark corner of myself…I would be surprised at the light He will shine out of me this week. I would find the peace in a place that I couldn’t force into that cramped little space.

 Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.  Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

 “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Head Hunter

I had planned a super sweet adoption post today, but you are gonna have to wait for Friday for that because my head just exploded yesterday with the worst headache I have had in ten years.

In fact, I can barely see this screen to write it hurts so freaking bad.

So why am I bothering, you ask?

No, no, it isn’t that my narcissism has gotten so bad that I think you can’t live a day without me. It’s just that right when I was feeling like the pain might make it worth it to just cut it off and throw it in the dumpster, because it was clearly more pain that any added value it provides, my girl cuddled up next to me.

That girl. The one desperately trying to turn all my hairs grey. The one that daily drives me to an early grave. That one that has a skull made of stainless steel.

She said, “Mommy, you don’t feel good?”

“Nope.”
“San I pway for you?”
Yes, please.”
“Sank you for mommy and her head, Amen.”

Well. I certainly can’t get rid of head that my baby girl is thanking God for.

So I guess I’ll just go lay it down and live to write another day.